Cooking By Numbers

I chance upon cookingbynumbers.com while looking for novel BBQ techniques. It suggests recipes based on what you have in your fridge.

I only have an apple so I indicated so. The website processed my form and returned the following recipe:

Apple on its own. - Serves 1

Ingredients
1 Apple

Method
1. Take apple and examine for signs of wear and tear.
2. Put your coat on and go down the local shop or supermarket.
3. Whilst walking chew on your apple. Stop eating when you get to the pips and stalk. Throw the stalk in the bin and get some food.