Meandering Shawarma

We are all nomads, bedouins and gypsies --- always on our feet in quest for glory, fortune, love, happiness and fulfillment. I am Filipino yet the best part of my life has been spent in the vast deserts of the Middle East. My culture clashed with a lot of things. Sometimes, I see a different person in the mirror. I am a shawarma. I am a meandering shawarma. My quest is to be home soon. How soon? Only this blog will eventually tell.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Meandering no more...

No excuses, I am back. I have looked back. My back is free. I am back. This is the same old me. Wandering. Wanderer. I may have achieve so much in the eight months I avoided blogging but I have yet to realize if I have achieved so much for myself, for the world, in myself or in the world.

No, this is not a case of identity crisis. Am not Sybil. This is not even a case of mid-life crisis for I am still young to reach that stage.

It is just a realization that sometimes one has to detach himself from the things he loves to do in order to refine himself.

The last eights have been a collage of events, people and places. The excruciating summer heat of Bahrain. The unabashed politics and betrayal in the Philippines. The plethora of natural calamities. My personal wounds and struggles coming to a crescendo once more.

While I went through the motions of my daily life, I realized I was lifeless. An automaton. I laugh because I just have to laugh. I cry because I just have to cry. I eat because I just have to eat. I live because I just have to live. “Just”. But it was not just. There was no justice in going through the motions.

Then, one fine morning, I woke up to realize that it is just me. “Just”. Finally, I have to do myself justice by not merely laughing, crying, eating or living but I laugh, cry, eat and live because I choose to, because I opt to, because I will to.

Then, it is today…

I am back. I have looked back. My back is free.

Meandering no more but a meandering shawarma once more!

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